Hello and welcome. You might try doing your own Cost/Benefit analysis to see how you feel about your drinking. It isn't complicated. Just get a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. One one side put the benefits (as you see them) and on the other put the costs (again as you see them and also other known issues like health). You might even try to give each item a score out of ten and total them up at the end of the exercise. Be HONEST though.
It won't make up your mind about what you really want to do but it might help to focus a bit. Good luck in any case!