I have a God of my own understanding. One I found initially through the 12 steps of AA. I once thought there was no God but I came to believe that in fact it was just that I had no understanding of what the God of My own understanding is...
I have found recently a book 'conversations with god' which has given me greater understanding and I'm open to the idea that greater understanding is possible.
As was suggested in another thread, closely linked to this series, reading the step backwards seems like a good idea. So with an open mind my search for a full definition of my insanity is in full flight...
What I have as a definition as I type this is; My insanity is closely linked to my need to search for acceptance & love whilst secretly not feeling good enough or loveable.
My insanity is my inability to leave behind behaviours that don't work, that I can't stop my obsessions (except alcohol), I can mask my control issues by manipulations, that I can't identify (always) how I feel.
That's where I am today in respect of this step. I will come back to it once I have more clarity.
A mentor of mine once said: Step 2 is a destination (sanity) arrived at by taking steps 3 to 9. I can see how this is so in respect of my AA steps and I hope the same to be true of the steps in ACA.
LiF
Mako
Last edited by makomago; 05-19-2014 at 07:09 AM.
Reason: typo