Hi WanderingBear -
Welcome to the posting side of things. Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts.
I don't have 12 years - only 1, but I too am working on my emotional sobriety - and I am learning to notice my negative feelings as signals for what I need for my happiness, and how to get that without alcohol.
Sounds like your experiencing a bit of a life transition - and what I hear in your post is the interest in connecting with people, not alcohol. What activities get you energized that others would be up for joining you?