Everyone thank you so much for your reaponces. It is really so helpful. I know I should be going more day by day and not be so worried with what the future may hold. Zeroptzero, thank you for being honest, it helps me to realize that it really is about the alcohol and not what's going on. I am scared for what would happen if I continued to drink, what kind of life I would have if I became that's out of control when I had kids or something like that. Right now I'm working on my masters and I have a great job and also military career. It makes it hard for me to admit that I have a problem, but I know that I do. Thanks everyone.