Thanks all...
I tried to focus on ME yesterday but well that didn't work out so well. I have a lovely back yard overlooking a brook which right now is a semi raging river...sat out there for awhile...thinking about all the yard work I should be doing but I choose to just SIT. Tried the nap thing. Weird, weird cramps in feet & toes. Up again. Must be tension. Sat on couch & just started to cry & I NEVER, EVER CRY. Husband comes home early. Can't discuss this with him because although he enjoys my older sons company, he cannot say the same about my daughter. He has no children & has none of the experiences I've had dealing with drug & alcohol issues within families (myself, ex-husbands, family members, etc) None. He does not get it. Shape up or ship out I think his motto. He does not put up with crap.
I thought about a hotel...she's living in a beach/country setting...but I can't afford that. I lived in the area for over 10 yrs & still have a few friends that I could maybe stay with but for various reasons I don't think those would be suitable options.
Due to my grandson's medical conditions - I think & I know I'm not a licensed mental health provider....that she has developed OCD tendencies. Since she can't control the baby's health (another heart surgery later this summer)...She NEEDS to be in control about EVERYTHING else she THINKS she can control. She tries to control me, her fiance's (ughhhhh!!!) health issues & drug issues....I've tried talking with her...she definitely needs therapy but that is not on her priority list. She takes excellent physical care of the baby...but allowing him to hear her constant bickering with fiance (another UGHHHH) & me when I there is just not right. Babies can sense TENSION & she is all about TENSION. The father disappeared until 2 weeks before baby was born. I was there when she first found out about his medical problems in utero, guided her through that medical maze & continue to help after his birth. I was there for all of his surgeries & hospitalizations. I don't think I will ever understand how she could treat me with such contempt. I could not "save" her father & I left him. He eventually died & I think she blames me for letting him go. I just can't deal with her anymore. I want to go scoop my grandson up & save him from the madness but that is impossible. He's just an innocent child. These 2 parents think they are doing the right thing (both now on methadone) but I see neither doing ANYTHING about a future life raising a child. (My daughter was in college a few years back but never finished & Dad has HUGE medical issues that will probably have him on disability for life) What kind of life can they provide for my grandson. Other grandmother has BLINDERS on. Her son can do no wrong. She hands $$$ over like water. Clueless. I'm thankful that she is providing a roof over their heads. I would have been thrilled to live in such a home with my children when they were young. No one helped me when I divorced my 1st husband. I was left to figure it out on my own. Yet these parents seem so ungrateful. They could probably stay in the house forever if they got their act together but I really don't see that happening.
I sent a private message to both parents on FB & all I got back was more QUACKING from my daughter...so for the 1st time EVER - I unfriended both of them. Time to step away. I'm feeling overwhelmed because I know I can't FIX them so I just need to focus on me & my husband. He has not been on my top 10 list due to all my time spent trying to "help" my daughter & grandson & I know he's feeling neglected. Have to get off this crazy train...it's just not going in the right direction.