Originally Posted by
liss74 
And I'm insane for sure
Usually those who are insane don't realise it.
As an alcoholic I had three areas of certifiable insanity.
1) what happened to me after I took the first drink. I had no control and the more intoxicated I got, the more insane my behaviour.
2) the time immediately preceding the 1st drink that nearly always lead to disaster. I was unable to see the reality of the risk I was taking.
3) the years of denial and rationalisation that I didn't have a problem is spite of massive evidence to the contrary. I could not see it.
Each of these was a psychotic episode, a time of insanity, a time where I was completely unable to see reality. My alcoholic life was the only normal one... Not normal, not reality at all.
Then, like you, I began to see the reality. That was my first sane moment.
The use of the word insane, psychotic are not too strong a terms. In my country they can and have locked me up for my own good. It only takes a judge and two doctors.
You may have had insane moments, but you are taking sane actions now (I hope)