Hey easyrider!!
I found with my addiciton that it was progressive, I couldn't have just 1 drink or 1 beer, I drank till I could drink no more, but then when I didn't drink for a while, that didn't in some way cure me of my addiction and I could then be a "normal" drinker.
1 drink now and I would quickly spiral back to drinking until I blacked out, for me it's addiction or sobriety, no inbetween.