I look at it this way: there are not degrees of alcoholism, there are degrees of delusion. I know that many times I tried to cut back, drink responsibly, etc. but over time I drank more because it took more. During that passage of time I recognized that I drank too much, but I saw it as a lifestyle choice. We all have the opportunity to quit at any time, but almost nobody quits until the pain of drinking exceeds the perceived pain of not drinking. Some of us are so deluded about ourselves and our disease that it kills us before we can quit. My mother was one of those people, she had access to any care she could have wanted, but she died an active alcoholic. I don't think I am all that different - I just recognized the truth soon enough to do something about it.