Originally Posted by
AnvilheadII 
my mom would say Theresa Renee if you would JUST apply yourself, you could <<fill in the blank>>. as an only child who already felt like I didn't measure up the message I heard was....you aren't good enough ON YOUR OWN, you must excel in order to be WORTHY.
This is what has happened with my 16 yr old (with me.) It's also part of why I struggle with applying consequences. Especially since the kid has had one hell of a year.
Your post was thought provoking for me. It's hard as a parent to remember that 'good enough' grades (ie good enough to pass and get the credit) may be good enough for the kid.... Our goal of making the grades they are capable of... is just that - our goal. What we want. Grades, college, good income jobs may be what we 'think' will make them successful and happy.... In the end, those things have very little to do with happiness, self-fulfillment, and serenity. That all comes from within. If I have to choose between the two (success according to the world or success/happiness at the personal level), I will choose happiness and self-fulfillment for my child over the world's definition of success. You would think having only just learned that for my self, I would remember to apply it to my kids as well....