Oh Lord, Raider. How I feel for you.
My mom will not let me help her with laundry either but she doesn't have a magic stick. She has a some sort of secret washer morris code she uses when the washer starts filling. She fills it half way with water then puts the clothes in..one. piece. at. a. time. When she is finished doing that she proceeds to close and then open the top 3 times in a row. Open/SLAM Open/SLAM Open/SLAM. Finally as she turns to walk away from it, she whips back around and gives it one more ear piercing SLAM!
Don't even get me started about washing dishes...or vacuuming.
Glad you survived that with grace and a sense of humor!