Thank you guys. Parenting is not for wimps. Right now I'm feeling pretty defeated and useless. My husband is reminding me that the fact that only one of my kids is floundering is a miracle and that it's not my fault.
I find it hard to accept that. I can laugh at myself but the belief is so deeply rooted in me that if you do everything right, you get a successful result. Doesn't matter that I know rationally that isn't always the case. I still gut level believe it.