Hello Marnie! Welcome to SR!
In a nutshell, yes you are in a period where you truly do wonder why things are still not right even though your partner has stopped using.
It sounds like you are seeing how one-sided your family life has been and would like to see things balance a bit more.
The book that helped me the most at focusing on my own issues was Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. The second thing that helped me a lot was SR and Al Anon meetings. SR fit my life schedule and gave me a world wide view of situations people were struggling with. The third thing that helped me is individual counseling. I needed an objective party to vent to and validate that my needs and feelings have value.
There are many threads here and some great people! Early recovery is tough for everyone. Hugs!