I have to say, I searched many forum about what was happening in my marriage. I searched verbal abuse forums, got embarrassed posting there, went to other forums, my ex (then H didn't really fit there either). I came here because I have a alcohol problem. Read the treads here. It was hitting closer to home. But as they say, actually can't remember the exact wording. But if you have a drunk thief, then take away the drunk, you still have a thief. It's 2 separate things.
I continued researching, and I think that I am finally satisfied that he had an undiagnosed personality disorder.
Stuff I went thru was really weird, sometimes I can't even believe it and I was there.
Don't do the research like I did. If it is unacceptable behavior, then it is unacceptable behavior. Alcoholism is difficult to treat, unacceptable, or egregious behavior, add about another 5 years to that, if they are willing to go for treatment, and they usually aren't