What am I dealing with here?
So... I read all the acronyms for the A's in our lives on this forum (which by the way, has helped me emotionally and mentally more times than I can count in the past few months, thanks thanks)... And I am not really sure how to define the A in my life... XRAH doesn't seem to fit.
We just divorced, and while separated, he finally went to rehab. He got out, is doing the 90 meetings in 90 days, lives in a sober living house, has a sponsor, does drug testing and all that. I believe that he is truly sober. However, the verbal/emotional abuse and blame towards me is crazier and more intense than it's ever been. In his eyes, my departure and "destroying our family" was the ultimate betrayal. [Typical example: I woke up to 10 texts on Sunday morning telling me that I needed to know that I was a bleeping "disgrace" of a mother and should not be honored on Mother's Day. Oh, and God is displeased with my wickedness and treachery and my day of reckoning is coming. Seriously, just a normal day of communication from him.] Yes, I am happy happy happy to be divorced, by the way.
So, here is my question... Not that it really matters, I suppose-- I'm working on working on me in Al Anon, but we've got kids together so it would be helpful to figure out what I am dealing with... Is this not-working-recovery behavior? Early recovery behavior? Narcissist who was self-medicating and now is sober behavior? He's always been verbally abusive and even physically abusive, but it's like the divorce and sobriety has seemed to cause him to jump to a new hateful, blaming nutso level.
If anyone could shed light on this, I would appreciate it.