Thread: Rotten mind
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Old 05-12-2014, 03:23 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
freshstart57
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
I think anyone who struggles to quit an addiction has an addictive voice, the source of those thoughts that suggest drinking again against our better judgement, or try to convince us that we can't kick. That is the definition of an AV.

I acknowledge AV as fully as I can, I try to recognize the heck out of it. I become aware of it and then aware of my feeling around this awareness. Sadness? Excitement? Increased breathing rate? I do an emotional and physical survey to make a mindful acknowledgment as complete as I can.

Next, I accept my AV. I understand the reasons for feeling as I do, given my past experiences with and around alcohol, and this helps me to accept the existence of these thoughts. I accept what is.

Finally, I separate from my AV. I made this plan, this vow, this solemn promise, to never drink again and never change my mind. This was done by me, by the part of me that reasons, hopes, experiences and dreams. This then means that these thoughts of drinking again, or doubt in my ability to remain abstinent, must come from a different part of me, part that I no longer give control of my life to. They come from a part of me that can do nothing except seek pleasure instinctively, that now will lead me back to hell.

Over all of this, I put a morality caveat. To cognitively consider drinking again is now immoral for me. I consider this in the light of who I used to be, what I used to do, and what has happened to others because of me. And what could happen, because of me, to others if I drank again.
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