I'm so sorry, Iamthird. I have very firm boundaries where my AXH is concerned. Every time I let them down - even if only to answer a question from him - I am reminded of why I have to have them.
Settle in, make this home your own. Enjoy it as a new start and a sign of how far you've come and how little you need him in your life.
AXH just unhinges me. I trigger from interactions that would cause others to say "what's the big deal?" Quite simply, I have lived with what the big deal is. I know better than to engage with him and sometimes I have to be reminded of why I let him go and why the children and I moved away.
There just aren't any good interactions between XAH and me. He does not have my interests at heart and he never did. The best I can hope for is uneventful and the worst is abusive. And I go forward informed from now on.