SCF:
My mom was the glue that held our family together, and the link between me and my extended family. It is hard to feel like you lost a lot more than one person.
Arctic - it's great to hear from you but sorry to hear you are struggling. In the past I have really had a hard time with just removing alcohol. I feel like I had to make some big changes in my life or else I would just obsess about "what was missing'. Even if it's taking up a new hobby, or a new exercise, or just something to kind of get excited about and take up some mental energy, it can really help. If day after day is just hanging on, you can burn out on sobriety when really tough times come.