I'm obsessive about what he says I think of nothing else what he's doing how he's coping does he miss me does he love me why won't he fight for me? I'm the one who contacts him asking questions that I know he has no answers to but I keep hoping he will have some or have changed his thought process but he doesn't. I know I am better off without him with how he's acting and I do look at his actions but because he loves me I keep thinking there is hope for him for us!! From the minute I wake up in the morning until I go to bed he is all I think about!!
I look at his actions and think how can he really be in love with me and hurt me this way. Surely love shouldn't hurt this much?
The difficulty I have is that I don't know how to make plans without him how to plan for a future without him when all my hopes and dreams were tied up with him!! I am scared of a future without him and being on my own.
I haven't been to an al anon group yet I'm not great with talking in groups and part of me thinks at times that he left because I make him unhappy and maybe being away from me he will be happy.
Although he tells me he's in love with me he refuses to see me or talk to me about this I only see him about once a fortnight for a cuppa. He says it's too difficult. He has told me not to wait for him and that I need to move on as he may never be able to sort himself out. So why do I still old out hope?