Hi Krazygal and welcome. I too have a TAD. Mine is30 and yes we have shed many a tear. You will go d many who are very caring, compassionate, helpful and very understanding of what you are feeling and going through. You are not a bad mother and this isn't your fault. Your son, like mine, made some bad choices. I find praying helps me a lot. I leave it in God's hands because frankly I don't know what else to do and God knows best. I'm glad your son texts you at least and he knows you love him. I hope someday he asks for help and gets away from the drugs. It is a mother's worst nightmare.