Originally Posted by
Croissant 
It was good to read this thread just now.
I had a fight come up from nowhere today. My fights are rare and have changed now. They used to be the bratty, "why can't I drink like everyone else"....whereas now I have the deeper exploration of "why do I want to drink"?
What in me is not being met. Why aren't I valuing myself enough that I've even let the AV think it's an option.
I've moved past thinking I "need" or even "want" to drink....but that my AV pops it up as a potential coping option. Like, "hiiiii!, remember me!"
Reminds me of a girlfriend I had years ago before I got remarried. She ended up cheating on me and breaking my heart. I missed her badly for a couple years even after all the hurt she caused me. I realized that what I missed was the person she was...not the person who broke my heart. Just like I miss the way alcohol was kind to me in the beginning but now realize it slowly has tried to destroy me life. I don't miss her anymore...and I don't want to miss alcohol either. It was hard getting over her but I did. It will be hard leaving alcohol...but I will!