I did not place my alcoholism in a box and stick it on the back of a closet shelf.
I had to face it. I have to admit I am an alcoholic and then accept it. Once I could accept that I had this malady, this disease, this allergy, then I could learn to live without drinking. To live a sober life took work. I had to learn to deal with life a new way. Instead of going to the bottle to escape I had to learn to reach out and ask for help. Instead of reaching for a drink to drown the pain of the past I had to list the pain and resentments, see my part in them and then let them go for good. I have to continue to keep my side of the street clean so it does not get cluttered again with resentments, anger, fear and unresolved issues or situations. Those will eat away at me.
I had to believe that I was not running the show. I could not force or manipulate the world and the people in it to do what I wanted. I had to learn to live life on life’s terms. Accept what I was dealt rather than trying to change it or run from it. I also had to find the courage to change things that I could and recognize them. They do not come often and I also have to accept responsibility for my choices. We all have the right to choose but we are not immune to the results of those choices.
I live a sober life. I am happy, joyous and free. I am not peeking in a box checking to see if my alcoholism is still in there. I carry it with me always because I will always be an alcoholic. I do not ignore it, I have learned to live in spite of it.