A part of me wants it
Perhaps if I get a few days under my belt my desire to "not use" will come around again. Today is now my third day without crack. I smoked some weed and had 2 drinks but no crack.
So maybe it's a start. What happened? Well I didn't want to be crack free, but my wife returned from a long trip....now it would be harder to use although I was doing it before she left for her trip 3 weeks ago
I could come up with a way to get crack tonight but I want to fix a gate and fertilize the yard for my wife. She does so much for me and I've gotten this bug to do some house chores "for her". Well mostly for her. Mostly to put something good out there.
So after writing now I've just had an urge. I will deal with it and change my thoughts to something else.
but "my addict" part is looking for an excuse. Anything. It don't care.
I'll keep telling myself that's it's only for today.