I want 2 get off the merry go round!!
I am sat in my bed in tears as I write this!!! Hungover, tired, been sick!!! I can't keep living like this, I'm not even living it's like I'm surviving!!!! But on those evenings I have my Bacardi and cola I feel so happy, energised, confident and like I'm a really fun person!!! Rewind to yesturday tea time I was facing my 3rd night alcohol free and I felt miserable tired and depressed!!! I didn't want to move out my bed!
I started drinking too much at 18 when my mum died, my dad before dying at 42 drank every night! Before passing away my mum told me she too started to get hooked to alcohol so she just abstained for the last 25 years of her life!!!
I don't know who I am anymore, I have 4 gorgeous children, my daughter starts her gcse's on Monday!!! And I know she's worrying about me, cos I can't go more than 2 nights without a drink!!!
I want to be happy confident and good fun and I don't want to be a slave to drink anymore... But can we really truly have it all?????
Xxxxxxx