I feel like I sound hypocritical about the money thing as I use, too. I guess at my current stage I can handle having $ in my possession as I always try to make sure we pay our bills, mortgage, school fees, etc.
A bit of background:
We starting using together when we were dating. I was dealing with some emotional issues with an eating disorder and he had been using for years(although I was in the dark about it at the time) and I guess he wanted me to have a little "fun" since I seemed so unhappy. After some legal trouble and my two pregnancies, I was off the drugs for about 5 years. He's used the whole time and like an idiot I decided to jump back in for whatever reason which I still can't figure out. I guess it was around, I had a bad day, typical excuse. Now whenever that stuff is around it's like I can't walk away from it. I should just do something else but for some reason I can't.
No matter how much I try hiding money or giving him no access the more sneaky he gets. I do want to make clear I am not scapegoating him and I am no angel, I just wish he would help me follow through with making positive changes for our family.
I did check out the meeting I wanted to go to, it's a good one with good leads and people. I've been reading this site everyday and all of you are so helpful, thank you!