It's Ok to not make a decision about how you feel today or tomorrow. Time will reveal more.
Have you thought about a therapist for you and/or Alanon? I had a great therapist that helped understand what abuse was. Walking on eggshells or name calling isn't ok and is considered abuse.
This is a link to a post that is now a sticky at the top of this page. There is lots of great information there as well.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...hat-abuse.html