I know exactly how you feel.
I am willing to bet you do still love him, but you are (understandably) hurt.
I swore up and down to the ABF that I hated him, never wanted to see him again, etc. etc. etc. at the end because I was just so sick of the BS. I was hurt, I was tired, I was done. Really, I was.
Now, looking back, I did still love him, very much (which I bet he knew, which is why he would never just leave me alone, no matter what I did to get rid of him).
Trust me, you still love him. Let him do whatever he has to do and work on yourself. Forget about him for a little bit-and he is going to be involved with himself anyway in early recovery (as he should be). But you need to be involved with yourself too, to get rid of that hurt that he caused you. Or else it will never go away, and all you will feel is resentment.