THANK YOU, buttercup89 and ZoSo. Thank you.
Emotional pain--it won't kill me. I think I almost get weirded out when I feel a little less of it, which is interesting in and of itself. I have to endure until my addiction to this situation lessens.
And I can't even be there for his family, I don't think, even though we all get comfort from talking to each other. It's just too dangerous for me to be near it. I'll never be able to pull free if I don't stop completely. And I'm afraid of what could happen.
I don't put anything past me though. Thanks again for listening.