I know that you are not looking to cheat on your AH, or to start an emotional affair. I know that you will dial all of this back appropriately. But don't lose sight of the fact that you have been reminded of what a healthy interaction feels like. Don't let the drudgery of life with an active A rob you of those feelings, because you are a WONDERFUL person who deserves all of those things. Only you, as you work on yourself and progress through your recovery, can do the cost-benefit analysis of staying versus leaving.
I second this. At some point I knew that I wanted and was deserving of a normal, reciprocal, non-abusive relationship, and that I wasn't going to get that in the relationship I had. I wasn't ready to start a new one, but I knew I wanted one in the future. I met some people my age who shared my interests and -- I didn't fantasize exactly, but it did remind me what it felt like to be appreciated for who I am even in the tiniest way.
I'm not officially dating anyone, but I've been talking to some gents lately and have been pleasantly surprised at the abundance of decent people out there looking to date in their 30s and 40s. I'm a nice person and I'm smart and moral and all that important stuff, but I'm also really bodily insecure after two kids and some extra weight, as well as close to ten years in a relationship with the STBXAH who thought it was stupid and annoying to toss a kind word my way, and said so every time I told him it would be nice if he noticed when I dressed up or got a new outfit or lost weight or was happy or felt accomplished or was flirting with him. I hung out with someone recently who was very verbally complimentary of me and it was like someone poured a fresh glass of water on a wilted fern. I forgot what it was like to feel validated.
Don't pursue this relationship for anything, but consider what it would be like to have a relationship with someone who was capable of the vast amounts of emotional work that you value in yourself.