Good Morning Undies:
Day 12 of 20. Finally up after tossing and turning for a few hours. The glass half full knows that another sleepless night equals exhaustion followed by a good nights sleep.
Gilmer, thanks for sharing your story on the 24 hour thread. Glad that you have made it back to your comfort zone. Don't eat the apple pie. Read a story with pics of a dude that kept an apple pie from there and is celebrating 25 years with it. IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE IT DID WHEN HE WAS GIFTED IT A QUARTER CENTURY AGO. The box shows more wear and tear than the pie. It consists of 100% artificial stuff, does not include anything that would classify as food. Sooo bizarre. I promise to hit you up on Limerick's later.
BF, way cool! Mazel tov, young lady! Yes, the gift of sobriety can be tangible, and at the same time make some waves.
DG, thank you for the detailed update. What a gift that you have given yourself of being able to be sober and in the present as you begin a new chapter. The waiting one year thing seemed so arbitrary to me until I heard someone share something about a relationship that made perfect sense. He said that he knew he was heading down a dangerous path when he replaced his HP with a relationship.
Cowboy, thanks for the heads up. The sledge hammer is for the built in seating that surrounds the old deck. I may take your advise and just scrap that idea anyway. My sawzall is ready for when I hit the deck (figuratively). I didn't get started yesterday. Wasn't in the mood. I have a couple weeks till we begin the construction and another retired AA buddy wants to come over and hang out to help just to kill a day later this week.
Courage, you got it. My emotions are up and down and all around. No pat on the back here, but I'm doing okay given the emotional slowdown this has created. How did your day go? Wow, you totally nailed the phase approach! Gotta ask, now that you identified it, what does it mean?
Siesta, I hope that you enjoyed your bike trip with hubby!
Toots, lets see, in just the past weeks and new to me you have disclosed your "so called" skills via a pool table and 18 months in steel toes non goth or grunge related, but wielding a sledge hammer. If I look up enigma in the dictionary it should include your pic.
Glee, yes the WOW factor was in every aspect of my life throughout my non-drinking years. Social, especially work (love giving initial presentations and getting people on the edge of their seats), athletic, relationships, etc. I would always say that I got more joy out of collecting the check than the check I get for collecting the check. I have always been comfortable in the spotlight.
I didn't miss drinking one single iota during those years. I won countless trips all over the world for my ex and I and the overriding theme was to enjoy the spoils and party. I did, without even a hint of wanting or needing booze to consummate enjoyment.
No, I was not a dry drunk. Life was good. Future so bright I had to wear shades.
Here is what I see was a few of the problems with that self-centered approach. Where was the humility? Where was helping others without wanting in return. I was spiritually bankrupt. Life was a party, no matter what. My self gratification really didn't require an altered state.
Yes, I have truly come to realize through working the steps of AA that drinking was merely a symptom of this all encompassing disease. I went to stop drinking, I stay to change my thinking.
I was feeding that monster with all of my indulgence and when it resurfaced it was so much stronger than my superficial soul. That's why it took me 12 years of suffering till the light-bulb finally went off.
I may not possess nearly the material things that I did in my past life, but the path I have chosen to follow in TOTAL recovery has me more optimistic than ever.
I am learning to live my life like my dear departed dog Rufis taught me. His song was, "Rufis is a good, good, good, he's a nice, nice nice. He's a good, he's a nice, he's a good, good, nice.
Simple goals for a complex alkie. But I am trying!