phoebe64

Oh, Grace, what a wonderful surprise!

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone, and for not making me feel like more of a **** than I already feel. I just get so tired of the fight. But, it is a fight for life. Funny, I made such drastic changes and control my diabetes. But, as great as I do control that, it allows for a bit of cheating and wiggle room. Alcohol does not. I just cannot cheat a little with it. If I could, I would be a normal drinker, just able to have one at a party, etc...

Someone once made a cake analogy, much like PBC's door analogy. Would you eat 4-5 pieces of cake, in a row?? Not most people, and well, if we did, we have a problem. I do have food addict issues, like I could binge on a lot of chocolate, at one time. Eat handfulls of M&Ms. Somehow, now, I can have just a few tastes of sweets. One cookie, one small slice fo cake. I seemed to be able to control that well enough. But not the drinking. It is never just one or two. I fooled myself into thinking, "Just a toast." You know it was just a half glass of champagne, even less. But then, it was filled again, without my even being asked. So, quickly that added up to a whole glass, in a short time. And well, then I was done. Looking for more.

The old truth, if you never have the first one... keep that door closed...