Dear Marl24,
It is normal you get anxious-Jealousy, cos you want to take too!
I still get like that when I see others take!!!
I was partying from 18 to 22 non stop.
The thing is...
I did not know other kind of life, I had no hopes, I would not get far in life not get a good job, I was not intelligent enough, I would never get to UNI, etc.
And I did not have anybody to guide me or explain life to me,
So I learned hard way...
Thought happiness was being as drug and drunk as I could each day!
I did not know I was wrong, and I could achieve anything I wanted,
and I wasted many years thinking that drugs will bring me happiness,
but It actually was stopping me from concentrating in striving for a real life.
At the long run it destroys your sanity and makes you miserable!
your friends do not know better either!
They think the higher they get the happier they are!
But they are not achieving what they want in life!
My advice slowly start getting into courses or college or what ever you can do to meet new friends, or move to another city with relatives for a while.
Do not be Jealous, at least 70% of them will continue and never come out,
they will not end up well believe me! I got friends they are still at it!
and are very miserable!!! they are only happy when they are gone!!!
I can not talk either...
Please keep away from them!!!
Be intelligent and get out NOW...
Life is too short to waste it WASTED!!!
Hope you take the right decision,
Aiko