Only you are stopping you.
You can join a league, find a hobby, you can do anything. He is not stopping you. You chose to relinquish your friends and you are choosing not to reach out to them now.
Isn't all you have wanted is for him to get sober?
I get it, really I do. He can't make it up to you what he has put your through there are not enough sorry's. He can and is choosing to heal himself. Unless you choose the same I doubt this is going to work. He is encouraging you to get help. That's all.
You do matter to him. I promise.