Hi Jimi, Welcome to the Forum!!
That was an intense read, and I did read all of it word for word, I think most of us probably stumbled across this Forum with some kind of similar lost feeling, nowhere else to turn to, so try a google search and up popped SR.
It's very easy to panic when we think that life is somehow slipping away, and we have yet to achieve or can't see any opportunity to achieve the things we want out of life.
All I can say from my own experience, is life is indeed built 1 day at a time, what we do today will determine the men we will become, the men we want to be in the future and the career we are aspiring to. It all starts with small changes to build the proper foundations.
You can get there, many on SR have carved out a new path in life, when everything seemed a lost cause and the chips were down, and you can to!!