I will try my best.
You mentioned your father only in a vague fashion...
Don't know what your relationship with is, but I think if it's healthy I would stick by the old man. He must have a fee wise thing to say?
I know you want to find your path, but My father died when I was 5, my mom at 33, both to cancer.
If I had my dad alive I would be right beside him, trough the good or bad. He must have hurt with your moms issue?
Just saying, hope I made 10 cents of sense.
Take care