sorry you are having issues gibbons, I wish I could help you I'm not a psychologist,
one thing that you point out is that your relationship developed over drinking, you are no longer drinking, your friend is still drinking and spending time with other drinking friends,
it is unfortunate that you live in a small town with few options, but if you continue to pine for this relationship, I believe you will eventually go back to drinking again,
without knowing more, that's all I can deduce
Don't let this get in the way of your sobriety. When you have more sober time and start to figure out who you really are this may become a non-issue. Are you working a program other than just abstinence? I can't imagine an AA group being close to you as you describe it. Being newer to sobriety you must learn to develop as a person without alcohol. Much of what we did or how we reacted in situations will need to change. You cannot hold on to old ideas and thinking. And you cannot expect others to embrace the 'new' you right away - if ever. Does your friend know you quit drinking? Is he supportive? Is he a real friend, not just a drinking buddy?
Good luck, hang in there and stay strong. You are doing this for yourself - no-one else.