EmmyG

I've been in my own place for a month now, still going well. AH isn't drinking and hasn't caused me any drama. I am really limiting my interaction with him, but when I do see him, it is cordial. He's giving me money for the boys so that's not an issue so far. He's been keeping it together more since I left than when I was there.

Now that I'm living on my own (with the boys of course) and not dealing with AH's issues all the time, I'm having to face my own issues. I found a therapist I really like, and now that I have a low co-pay I can see her every week so I'm excited to start making some progress.

I have a million issues with my mom, but lately it's getting worse. I've been planning on taking my son to Lego Land for a few months, but things have been really hectic for me with moving out and everything else going on. I haven't had the extra money to do it. My mom wants to take him, and asks me about it every time we talk. I know my son wants to go there, I GET IT. I had read that it's not really a great place to take 3-year-olds, so I thought we could take my kindergartner there and then take him and his little brother to Disneyland together another day. But I have been putting it off until after I get settled in at the new place. Plus, AH has the medical issues going on and we just got an insurance plan for the four of us, which is costing us $800/month now. So that is a new bill to be paid. But health insurance for the kids takes priority over Disneyland.

Anyway, the other night my mom texted and asked if she could take 6-year-old to Lego Land next Friday. I told her he has school that day and I don't really want him to miss. He only has one month of school left. She said "But I don't want to go on a weekend." So I said I'd think about it. She then asked me again probably 3-4 times over the next two days. She then turned it into taking him for 2-3 days and staying at a hotel. Last night, she asked me again and said she really needed to know because she needed to make reservations, and I said "I really don't want him to miss school that day, but okay."

My sister said that my mom made a comment yesterday that "Your sister keeps putting off taking (6-year-old) to Lego Land. But I know she's planning on taking his brother to Disneyland. What about (6-year-old)????"

That makes me really mad. I am doing the BEST I CAN for my kids right now. My weekends are all about them. I take them to the park, to play dates, to birthday parties, etc. When our son turned 6 in February, AH and I had a party at the house and we took 10 of his friends to see the Lego Movie. He just did a 6-week Lego class and I signed him up for soccer in the fall. He is not a neglected child. I feel like my mother has always just bullied me into doing what she wants. She kept him overnight once when he was 3 and took him to Sea World without telling me. I only found out when I had called her phone 100 times and was panicking because I couldn't reach her and finally reached my sister who told me they were there. But I am afraid to even tell my mother that I don't want him to go because of her reaction. She will be PISSED.

Insight into my parents - yesterday, my sister ran into a neighbor who asked how my mom's operation went. My sister said "Oh, she didn't have one...?" The neighbor said "Oh, so they're doing chemo then." My mom doesn't have CANCER, my parents are just crazy.

I just want to be alone and raise my kids and be happy. No more AH drama, no more mom drama. Is it so bad if I just check out of my relationship with her for a few months while I work on myself? I just feel like it's time to grow up in every way. I got myself out of the bad situation I was in and now it's time to really become the person I want to be.