The answer is generally anger. Between that and depression coming off benzos (only for withdrawal prescribed by a Dr), it makes me depressed. The issues I just listed are being taken care of by therapy and self realizing why I get mad and drink.
What's different this time is I am already off benzos. I took half the normal detox dose and detoxed rapidly. My depression hit three days ago instead of what normally would have been around day 7. I woke up feeling great, and ready to write some software!