so many facets to this discussion..when I think about it for too long my brain hurts.
It is so anxiety inducing to think that this substance could come back into my house, after the chaos and havoc it left last time. I don't want the doctor to pass judgment and not take my husband seriously. I know when the man is in pain, and he is...but I still find myself thinking "of COURSE this happens to YOU after all this." which isn't fair.
I think living with an addiction that I knew nothing about for a year or more, has bred a lot of resentment and a lot of unnecessary suspicion. I don't trust my gut the way I once did. All I can do is support him and decide if what happens later down the road, whatever the outcome, is working for me or not. "detaching" and "taking care of me" are the HARDEST concepts ive had to learn in life thus far.