William, i thank you for this. Yes, it is there, waiting for the moments of weakness that we as humans will always have. For 30 yrs it has overtaken me. The battle within is the ultimate test. Overcoming it has been my continuous, repeated downfall. Like a golfer, we are playing against ourselves; its a mental, yet deeply spiritual, realm we play in. I know you know this, and I thank you for sharing. It means a lot to a person like me to be able to converse about this with a person of longstanding sobriety such as yourself.