Thanks for this post today, wpainterw. I can completely relate and sometimes I think it's going to drive me insane. And I know it has kept me out. Even as I write this, I hear that incessant nagging voice saying 'you're not really alcoholic...'. BUT today, I choose to change. I can't go on like this. I am beat. And reading your post shows me there is someone else who thinks the way I do. And we're both on a Soberrecovery forum. So what are the odds that the voice that wants us back out there is the right one? Thanks very much for your post, it really helped me to read that this morning.