What a hard dilemma you are facing. Have you discussed what would happen if you split? Could you still be involved in their lives somehow? Co-parenting for the benefit of the kids without the relationship with him? You have no legal right but maybe he would want to do what was best for the kids and let you stay involved. A saying my daughter's therapist once said to us applies here. "You are thinking the worst will happen and in reality it's almost never as bad as the worst". I pray you find the answers you are looking for.