Kabu, you can see that many of us have been thru traumatic experiences and understand.
You asked how some people can just go on as if nothing ever happened and why some of us can't?
I've asked myself that question time and time again. Unfortunately, I have never been able to figure that out. I do know that the severity of the traumatic event doesn't always determine the severity of the PTSD a person suffers. I believe it's when the person who is exposed to the trauma feels that their life as they know it has been threatened. Anything can cause it....something as horrific as being in an earthquake like you......to living with an addict partner who constantly lies to you or gaslights you...or emotionally abuses you.
I was raped at 13. After that happened, I felt so very different....I became depressed, I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. Couldn't find happiness in my life anymore. I stopped hanging out with friends and I didn't want to go to school....my grades suffered. It's like my life as I knew it....my beliefs about what life meant....what growing up meant changed. My faith and trust were gone...I couldn't figure out who I was anymore or what I wanted....my whole world (my innocent childhood was destroyed) snapped like someone had taken it and bent it like a twig...and just snapped in two.
Now, just recently I underwent another traumatic experience. I was arrested and put in jail. Someone might think, "going to jail isn't a traumatic experience." Well, it was for me! I never thought in a million years I would be put behind bars....but, more than that I think it triggered my previous traumatic experience and exasperated it....because I was locked inside a dark bathroom when I was raped and I couldn't get out. It was a total loss of control. It was putting my personal control into another persons hands.
I can see that alpha is so right, that we have to work thru the trauma and pain in order to heal. Trying to avoid the trauma, or numb the pain....works for a while...until it doesn't anymore. At some point we are going to have to come to terms with it and face it. It's the only way to heal.
I hope you can find someone you can trust...I know this isn't easy!