Hey Charlee,
I understand coming out to your parents is not easy, for anyone. My parents were scared to death of my drinking for years, and looking back I put them through emotional hell in a few situations. I haven't had the conversation with them that I'm an alcoholic, they're just thrilled I don't drink. My dad has in fact, stopped drinking in solidarity with me. Mom, on the other hand still openly drinks around me. I certainly don't complain, but I think it says something about her issues.
It was maybe about ten months ago I realized how important it was to have that conversation though. We were chatting about the Rob Ford scandal and they started in on how addicts are fundamentally bad and weak-willed people. Of course it hurt to hear them say that, but I've done far worse to them emotionally so it wouldn't be fair to stomp my feet about it. But, it was shocking, since not only am I an alcoholic, but my sister is also a recovering heroin addict (9 years sober thank god).
The first thought that came into my head was, it was clear, despite all of the emotional wounds addiction had inflicted on them, they had done absolutely no research into it's causes and effects. Instead they've internalized the pain, if I had to guess, probably because they're terrified to admit any role in it.
I know I blamed myself for alot of things, didn't work out too well either. Kept me sick for a long time, and I kinda see the same thing happening in reverse with them. Addiction is a family disease, that's tough for both the addict and the family to admit I think.
Having said all that, I still haven't had that conversation, so I shouldn't be getting all preachy.
Keep up the good work Charlee. Hope everything goes well at dinner, food is very much enjoyable without wine. Word of caution though, going out to restaurants used to be and still is a huge trigger for me.
VR and FMFT, great to see you guys around. Looks like we're finally going to make it to an 7th thread, 14 months later :0