You're learning what you want, what you need and figuring out a way to get there. Those are huge things! Give yourself credit for this.
Kudos for realizing that you have choices!
Our rehab counselor told me: don't ask what you want, ask yourself what you need. The same thing to ask my husband. Not what he wants to do. What does he need to do for himself? Also: play this tape to the end. How does it end?
That helps me sort things out a bit. YMMV