You are so right Captain...that is what I wrote. The answer is no. It's the person he is when he is sober that I love....
Or perhaps...and this is as HONEST as I can possibly be....it makes it easier for me to play the victim. I can say "oh poor me, look how good I am and how mean you are to me."
I have realized that I play the victim very well. Starting to find out that there are no victims in my situation, only choices. ( besides the children, who are the most important victims of this).
I have chose to stay. I want to support his sobriety. I want to create a life together. I want a healthy relationship. But when it gets to the point that I'm compromising myself in order to accommodate his alcoholism and allowing myself to be belittled and abused, then it becomes a choice.
How long is too long to hang on? At what point do you say, ok, this is it?