Do either of you have a counselor who you can talk to? A Licensed Addictions Counselor would be best. Calling rehab centers and asking to talk to someone may be possible, just to get some neutral input here. Ask about programs they may have for each of you.
Early recovery is hard for everyone and getting through the first days, weeks and months by white-knuckling needs a lot more support. AA, Alanon, Celebrate Recovery, etc. but often more support is needed in the form of a formal program. If he's not up for it and leaves, you can still keep working your own program. As much as you want to, you can't do this for him. If he keeps trying to quit on his own, perhaps he is wanting help -- still, you can only ask and can't force it.
How is your own recovery going? Are you getting help for both sides of the street for yourself? Take care of you first and foremost, then you'll be able to be there for the kids. (((hugs)))