Blended family- I think he's leaving with his kids
My husband has been an alcoholic for as long as I have known him. He was in recovery when I started dating him. Now he has relapsed. It's been about two years of hard core drinking, fighting, etc.
He's been drinking pretty hard since my ex (father of my kids) died a year ago. Says I must love ex more than him because I cried when I heard he died. Still to this day is blaming me for loving someone else and making him feel like a "piece of ****".
I have three children and he has two. We have none together.
I think he wants to leave me. We got into an argument this morning ( I saw it coming a mile away. It is day three of sobriety, and it always seems like the 2-3rd day without drinking makes him extremely hostile...until we fight and then it is the PERFECT excuse to grab some beer right?)
He keeps threatening to leave me. I keep telling him I don't want him to, that I love him, yada yada....but this morning I told him if he wanted to leave then just do it and quit threatening me.
He said he wants to talk to me tonight about it.
I'm scared. I do love him with all my heart. We have been in counseling for two months now...he says it's been helping. I think it has too....maybe not enough.
I'm scared he is going to take my (technically his) children with him. We have been a family for five years now....I love those two kids with everything I have. I'm scared for my kids (bio kids).
He would never leave his kids behind, so there is no way I could ask him to let them stay.
Dammit, I have loved this man as much as I can. I'm exhausted. I'm literally sick about it....
What about his kids? Can I just let them walk away? He's never been abusive or neglectful to the kids, even when he drinks. He's always the fun (almost too fun) playful drunk with the kids and a mean drunk to me......
Why do I feel like the entire weight of the world is on my shoulders and it's crushing me?
Do I just let him go? Play the whole "if it was meant to be, he'll come back" thing? Do I put up a fight? What do I tell the kids if he does leave? What do I tell HIS kids about them leaving me? Our oldest is 13 and our youngest is 8....the oldest 2 are his, the youngest 3 are mine.....13,12,11,10,8.
God, I feel so lost.