Hi Codejob,
That sounds like a great talk with your sponsor. Good luck talking with T. Are you telling him about your crush on him? I would be embarrassed so I am impressed if you are.
There are a couple sayings that come to mind reading your thread. They are:
1. You are not that powerful. (about controlling/making people do stuff)
2. The world doesn't revolve around you. (again, you don't control others. they will do stuff b/c of their issues)
I kept saying these things to myself whenever I felt that people did things based on my words/actions. I always had to remind myself of others free will and that whatever they did was a reflection of them, not me.