I understand the feeling. Having your illusion of safety ripped away suddenly by a traumatic event, seeing how fragile that your life is, how small and insignificant you are in the universe, and grasping the inevitability of your own death, never feeling safe afterwards...
Yes, I have been there, and it is a sign that you probably have some PTSD to deal with.
What I learned is that you can numb everything with booze and drugs, but the anxiety will not get better, and you will not heal.
You can get over this. There are ways to view the world and accept your place in it instead of fighting mortality and that ominous feeling that hovers. But you have to get sober first. There is a real chance that the drugs and alcohol are keeping you locked in a cycle of reliving the trauma.
Keep coming back here and posting. It's good to get it out. You are not alone.