Steve - Your schedule sounds punishing! I'm glad you chose not to drink. Is there someone you can call upstream when you think about going to the store?
Courage and Toots - I'm glad you were able to meet up, and to find out that you both exist in real life, not just Courage's imagination. Also, I love the photos from your get together!!
Gilmer - Brown gravy meat or gravy as in tomato sauce? Why is your depression 'irrational'? Is it possible that it's situational, from not being in a comfortable academic groove and flow with your current class?
Tonight I went to AA. During the hour and a half that I was out, Needyfriend called my house and spoke to my husband, left a message on my cell, then called my husband again. Obviously, you all are correct that I need to state my needs firmly, because the subtle method is not working.
I called her and told her that all these phone calls over the past day are too much and make me uncomfortable. She was extremely defensive, and I deflected her jabs saying, this isn't about me not liking you or not wanting to hang out, this is about me being extremely busy. She escalated it to, "I called because I was lonely and needed someone to talk to." Calmly, compared to the emotions boiling inside me, I said that it isn't fair to put that responsibility on me. I probably wasn't very calm. She ended the call by defiantly saying "Fine! I'll find someone else to borrow a table from" and hanging up on me. It feels anticlimactic to write "borrow a table", but it's true...
I usually play like I am so tough, and funny, and unaffected by people's emotional drama. The truth is, it was very uncomfortable to assert myself and I was shaking after I got off the phone. My mind started jumping all over the place: How could I deny a lonely person a comfortable place to land? I wanted to call her back, apologize, and just let her get what she needed from me.... On the other hand, I wanted to launch an angry tirade, gathering as much evidence as I could, against her.
In the end, I did neither. Instead I'm uncomfortable, living in the discomfort, and not drinking over it. And sharing my experience like an excited little kid with you all.